I thought it would only be fitting to give my old food life a fond farewell.
Each of our guests was sent an invitation, inviting them to a magical evening of mystery. The first moment of intrigue was introduced when they were asked to bring a mystery item of clothing.
On the evening each item was swapped amongst the group; guys were wearing fairy wings and Father Christmas g-strings and girls were wearing playboy bunny ears, bellboy hats and bow ties, to name a few.
Next, the menus were handed out. Each menu consisted of three columns containing the same 15 items. Only 5 items could be chosen in each column, with no repeats. This in essence created the starter, main course and dessert. To make things a little more interesting each item was given a mysterious name and the list also included utensils and drinks.
No talking was allowed during this process. If anyone was caught trying to communicate with someone else, a jagermeister was forcibly consumed as punishment.
The actual menu consisted of a tomato, thyme and feta tart with a beetroot and rocket salad for starters or as described to our guests a "confused fruit that sleeps around" a "stained water sucker" for the beetroot and "A green lift off" for the rocket (the salad was split into two items, of course) and to accompany this course was a sex on the beach cocktail or "A sandy romp". A fork was also needed to eat with, which was called "the devil's prong".
The main was "a featherless bra filler" and "burnt at the stake" or to the uneducated, a chicken breast stuffed with brie, basil and pepperdew with a roasted veggie skewer. "Casanova Fizz" or rather a glass of Krone sparkling wine finished off the dish, with the utensils needed being a "silver poker" - knife and a "doos pelmet" - serviette.
Oh, did I mention that this was a porn star mystery dinner? No? Oh, sorry... well, have you spotted the sexual innuendo yet? ;-)
Dessert was vanilla ice cream balls topped with raspberry coulis and crumbled biscotti biscuits or "frosted Caster Semenya", "seductive scarlet swirl and "a crusty Italian". The drink was a jager bomb, aptly called "Hiroshima meets an avalanche" and the spoon "two bodies under the blankets".
Each person's eating experience was different, except mine, being the cook does have its perks! While I was enjoying each meal in its entirety some of my friends were eating ice cream with a skewer, as no spoon had been ordered, or beetroot with raspberry coulis, the stuffed chicken breast with the biscotti, and some unlucky (or lucky, depending on your view point) guests even landed up with all three drinks at once. 
(All items on the plate had to be finished before the next course was brought out.)
What ensued was an extremely festive night - all caution was thrown to the wind and even the most unadventurous of my guests were tossing their hair back and immensing themselves in the experience.
I think it was the perfect send off to my beloved food.
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